Day 2, Two people

I am so very grateful for my parents. They have always believed in me. And I'm learning more and more as I live that it is rare that I never once in my life doubted that my parents loved me, and would love me no matter what I did. I knew I could do things they wouldn't like, but they would still love me. Which taught me a pretty big lesson early on, we are not our actions or our choices. We can let them define us, and they will be what most of the world has to go on to get to know us, but when we let our actions, good or bad, or let the labels others put on us, define who we are we can loose sight of the bigger picture, loose sight of who we want to be. This has been a valuable lesson in my life and one that I have used to pull myself out of some terrible places.

I love my mom and dad and hope they too never have reason to doubt it!

November Gratitude

This month I have decided to post everyday. Each day's post will be about one person or group of persons for whom I am grateful. This is the month of Thanksgiving, and I've been feeling especially grateful lately, so doing my blog this way makes good sense to me.

I am grateful for way more than 30 individuals, so most days I will likely mention a group and perhaps name individuals within it. Today however, being the first day I will name the person I'm the most grateful for...

Jason Sinco. The love of my life. The man who makes my life richer and more enjoyable in so many ways. He provides for me every single day. We live in a nice house in a good part of town, he built a garden and helps keep it up, he built furniture for the patio. He knows when I need a hug, even when I don't want it. Jason keeps things together and moving forward in our life; this past weekend when I was so nervous and anxious about my recital, he kept me calm and focused. I never had to worry about what was being done for whom because he had it all under control. We had family in town from my side and his and it was a wonderful experience all the way around and I know that is due to his hard work. He loves me so completely, I'm constantly amazed by him, I don't deserve him, but I'm so very happy he's in my life! Knowing that I will have him by my side for the rest of my days is the best motivation I've ever had to do what I can to make those days good for both of us.

Thank you baby, I love you!

The Big Event

Four days. In four days I will perform my recital and have another big thing to check off my list of big things happening his semester. It feels good to be accomplishing things. I am nervous, but no longer worried. It will be what it is and hopefully most of it will be good.

That will be all for now.

Autumn Swings

"He's so cute! But he better stop eating the bird's seed!"

Two weeks from today I will perform my senior recital. This is a big deal. I don't think I was thinking of it as a big deal until recently. My goal is to have a PhD in Ethnomusicology, which doesn't require that I even know how to play the piano, necessarily. However, that is the instrument I can play, and I wanted to stay in Springfield, so Dr. Collins got me set up in the music program and on my way to fulfilling my dream. It all started when I had been babysitting for Meredith for a few months and she had encouraged me to think about going back to school, then I met Dr. Collins at the first Springfield Symphony concert I attended and we go to talking. Since then many things have changed. I've learned so much more than I thought I would and I've only had my desire to learn strengthened with each class and lesson. I'm now trying to get a folklore minor as well as applying to several graduate programs and receiving tremendous support from my professors, especially Dr. Parsons.

Having the booth has been good for me despite the amount of stress I'm already under because I have to give it at least a little bit of time each week, which is time spent not doing homework or practicing. Jason is the most patient and supportive husband in the world. I don't know if I would have stuck with school this far if not for him.

Ultimately I'm feeling very grateful right now. Yesterday and a couple times to day I had the strongest sense that Grammy was with me. Almost physically with me, I could so vividly remember the way her hands felt on either side of my face...it was beyond belief, I know she is with me right now and carrying that knowledge is beautiful.

This life is an amazing and unpredictable journey, I don't want to miss any of it!

Truth

Truth is no matter how much I love to do it, I don't believe I can dance.

Truth is despite good people believing in me and skilled and knowledgeable people teaching me, I don't think I'm any good at the piano.

Truth is as much as I want to write, I don't do much of it because I know I'm not clear and relatable.

Truth is I know I don't practice enough of any of the above.

Truth is I'm no where near as good a wife as my husband deserves.

Truth is I know my opinion about these things is only my opinion and not absolute.

Truth is without the Love and Support of my family and friends I wouldn't be trying anything I love.

Truth is without the encouragement of those who love me I would still be working at Panera and expecting nothing more than a paycheck every two weeks.

Truth is some days the only thing that works is to remember what the people I admire most tell me about myself.

Truth is I will graduate in the spring.

Truth is I will perform a senior recital to the best of my abilities.

Truth is I will write many many papers and each one will be better than the last.

Truth is self-doubt is a part of being me, part of being human.

Truth is I need to remember to give back, to be the loving encouraging wife, daughter, sister, cousin, friend.

Truth is I try.

Truth is I plan to never give up.

Truth is I will keep putting one foot in front of the other until I have no feet, and then I will fly!

Booth

This is our booth! My friends and I are giving it a try. Jason is contributing his woodworking projects and crafting skills as well. I think it will be fun. I will take more pictures this weekend after we give it the Halloween/Fall make over....

Goings On

Jason had this great idea, the result is above. Papermache heads to display hats, and scarves and such. Why would I need to do that you may wonder...I'll tell you why. Two of my closest friends and I are going to start a flea market booth. Just to see what happens. We will split the cost and can sell things we find and things we make, including hats! As Jason said, it's worth the money for the first few months to see if it works out at all. While checking things out at the Ozark Celebration Festival, we found a man doing traditional woodworking! Jason had a good time talking with him and trying out his lathe.

Life is good, but I have a lot on my plate and not much time to blog. Closer to the holiday's that will likely change.