Birthday Weekend!

I found out via Facebook, that one of my favorite music groups was planning to be in STL the weekend of my birthday. That is as simple as it gets. Jason seems to Love making me happy. The concert got a late start, but was so worth it!! This is Zoe Jakes, she mostly dances during some of their numbers, but sometimes plays a small drum she attaches to a neck strap. She is a beautiful dancer, and so fun! She was having fun with her skill/art, and could spin infinities! My hero! Jason took a picture to document the smile. I smiled SO MUCH that night! Smiled a lot that whole weekend. Jason's folks made reservations for all of us at a Greek restaurant for lunch and his mom took us to The Bead Store, which was a treat!! Then Jason paid for a pedicure that has lasted over a week! Last time I had a pedi was in VA for my birthday trip last year. I am so fortunate, 31 and still get a big deal made of my birthday. :) The concert was advertised as a masquerade, so I made some costumes. It was fun to use up scraps of things I loved as well as re-purpose other things. It was a great weekend all the way around. Tomorrow is the first day of the fall semester, my last fall semester as an undergrad, so crazy. I'm excited, but a bit of a wreck too.

Card

I need to write about my great birthday weekend and post some pictures, and I will, but just now I was looking through some stationary to write some letters and I came across a card I got to send to Grammy, that I never sent. The front is flowers and bees and it says "I'm thinking of you..." then inside is says, "I always do." Why didn't I send this? It's so true!! And it's still true.

I promise, next time will be a happy report on last weekends fun times. :)

Dance

The Lovely Powerful Women of Project Vagabond. Strong and Beautiful Gypsy Sol. Proud and Wonderful! Project Vagabond. I used to do this. Been three years I think since I left RedMoon, I had only just been allowed in after years as a student. When I first started lessons I didn't think I wanted to be on stage, just wanted to learn the dance. Then my confidence grew and I loved dancing on stage as a tribe! I've done a couple of solos since then and participated in the Cowboy Bepop project Em did. But I do miss the tribe. Miss dancing with a group of women who are dancing for love of music, life and movement. ATS and Tribal Fusion are styles of belly dance which embrace the power and strength of a woman as well as her beauty and grace. That is not to say that other styles of this dance aren't strong or powerful, on the contrary, but rather, that these styles seem to put those aspects of the dance to the forefront.

I am so proud of these women. Some I know well, others I just know enough to admire their skill and passion. I need to get back into dance. For me. I feel hollow sometimes for the lack of it in my life. Good thing I took notes and had a generous teacher! Thank you Zivah. Thank you to all my dancing friends. You bring joy and light and whimsy wherever you dance!

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid

It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.

W.E.Henley

Just watched Invictus with my mom. Powerful movie, good message. Forgiveness can be strength.

Morning

It is early. It is Monday. I've been trying to be sure and be up and at 'em around 6am every morning Mon-Thur. I like to have quiet mornings to myself. With a husband on the night shift you'd think that would be easy. But unless I am up at 6 or during school sometimes 5, it isn't possible. It's been great to go out and spend sometime weeding and mowing a little bit everyday. Sometimes I remember and take the radio out with me and listen to Morning Edition on NPR. I'll be heading out there in a few minutes. The sun has turned the clouds on the horizon gold, I can see them through the trees in my neighbor's back yard. The birds will be singing, the crickets will be scattering, mornings are magic to me. It's not something I think I could share with anyone, and I know I enjoy it best when I'm alone. I've always liked to be alone in the mornings. Which, when I was younger I think was weird to some, and hard for my fellow morning person dad.

Why am I writing this? I should be doing my morning pages. I was thinking about that word. Morning. Mourning. One of my dearest friends is going through something, mourning. I am mourning. It's a strange process that takes everyone differently, I think I've avoided the pages because that's where I can write anything, and I don't know if I want to. But I do know that I need to. Guess I better get to it then.

60

Looking at my blog just now and seeing the previous posts title, "learning" got me thinking. Jason and I like to "watch some learning", which just means that we watch a documentary rather than a fiction movie or show. My dad said to me, well, my mom too now that I think of it, more than once, "I'm still learning". That would be said at so many different times and occasions, and was good for me to hear, good for me to know. We never stop learning. Not ever.

Today is my dad's 60th birthday. I am very proud of my father, for a lot of reasons. Last month I posted about him for father's day. Both of my parents have been so many things to me in my life. I guess that's what parents do. They provide, teach, discipline, lead, laugh, love, protect, etc... that could get long and ridiculous. How many people though, can say their parents learned? Right in front of them learned life lessons and had the wisdom and humility to say so out loud. WOW.

Learning

I've been thinking lately about finishing things, and making different, and/or better choices. Such as, my going through my fabric and deciding that it was silly to hoard it all until I'm the size I want to be, if I can make the clothes, by golly I can make them smaller when the time comes! So now I have a new summer wardrobe for the cost of some thread and my time. One piece is pictured above. I LOVE that fabric!! Got it for a dollar a yard years ago and have been sitting on it, carting it around with me from here to where ever. Some things I even had cut out and ready to be sewn, just hadn't done it yet! I also went through my closet, and with the help of my husband managed to cull the weak, so to speak. It feels good.

But I have to say, as I've gone through this process I think about when I bought the fabric, or the pattern or what ever. I know most of this is stuff I don't NEED now, didn't NEED then, and etc... I'm committed to not buying anymore fabric unless it's for a project I'm actually working on and have a committed time frame for. Back when Jo and Abby and I were out dress shopping and hat shopping they talked about shopping therapy. I've done that. Not for clothes or shoes, but for fabric, yarn, ribbon, thread, buttons, you get the point. But how therapeutic is it to do that and then just hoard the stuff? This project of going through my stuff and finishing things has been more therapeutic than buying any of it ever was!

So, it's still a daily thing. Choosing to spend my money on things I'm going to use or consume wisely, deciding to make something and be creative rather than vegg out in front of the computer or TV, making a healthy meal at home and not drive thru for junk. But one day at a time is the only way to do it.