That will be all for now.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Four days. In four days I will perform my recital and have another big thing to check off my list of big things happening his semester. It feels good to be accomplishing things. I am nervous, but no longer worried. It will be what it is and hopefully most of it will be good.
Posted by Lucinda at 6:44 AM
Saturday, October 16, 2010
"He's so cute! But he better stop eating the bird's seed!"
Two weeks from today I will perform my senior recital. This is a big deal. I don't think I was thinking of it as a big deal until recently. My goal is to have a PhD in Ethnomusicology, which doesn't require that I even know how to play the piano, necessarily. However, that is the instrument I can play, and I wanted to stay in Springfield, so Dr. Collins got me set up in the music program and on my way to fulfilling my dream. It all started when I had been babysitting for Meredith for a few months and she had encouraged me to think about going back to school, then I met Dr. Collins at the first Springfield Symphony concert I attended and we go to talking. Since then many things have changed. I've learned so much more than I thought I would and I've only had my desire to learn strengthened with each class and lesson. I'm now trying to get a folklore minor as well as applying to several graduate programs and receiving tremendous support from my professors, especially Dr. Parsons.
Having the booth has been good for me despite the amount of stress I'm already under because I have to give it at least a little bit of time each week, which is time spent not doing homework or practicing. Jason is the most patient and supportive husband in the world. I don't know if I would have stuck with school this far if not for him.
Ultimately I'm feeling very grateful right now. Yesterday and a couple times to day I had the strongest sense that Grammy was with me. Almost physically with me, I could so vividly remember the way her hands felt on either side of my face...it was beyond belief, I know she is with me right now and carrying that knowledge is beautiful.
This life is an amazing and unpredictable journey, I don't want to miss any of it!
Posted by Lucinda at 8:49 PM
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Truth is no matter how much I love to do it, I don't believe I can dance.
Truth is despite good people believing in me and skilled and knowledgeable people teaching me, I don't think I'm any good at the piano.
Truth is as much as I want to write, I don't do much of it because I know I'm not clear and relatable.
Truth is I know I don't practice enough of any of the above.
Truth is I'm no where near as good a wife as my husband deserves.
Truth is I know my opinion about these things is only my opinion and not absolute.
Truth is without the Love and Support of my family and friends I wouldn't be trying anything I love.
Truth is without the encouragement of those who love me I would still be working at Panera and expecting nothing more than a paycheck every two weeks.
Truth is some days the only thing that works is to remember what the people I admire most tell me about myself.
Truth is I will graduate in the spring.
Truth is I will perform a senior recital to the best of my abilities.
Truth is I will write many many papers and each one will be better than the last.
Truth is self-doubt is a part of being me, part of being human.
Truth is I need to remember to give back, to be the loving encouraging wife, daughter, sister, cousin, friend.
Truth is I try.
Truth is I plan to never give up.
Truth is I will keep putting one foot in front of the other until I have no feet, and then I will fly!
Posted by Lucinda at 10:24 AM