4/21/11

Thought I would share part of my day yesterday.

It is raining now, yet

Earlier today when it was

Sunny and warm I worked

In the garden.

Weeding and mowing

Trimming and listening

To the wind in the trees

And the bird songs.

At one point I stopped

To sit and rest watch

The birds especially the

Robins going after

The worms I had disturbed.

The sun was warm on

My face as I sat there and

Wept for grief of the loss

Of the one who taught

Me best how to appreciate

Being outside with the birds.

I am accepting now that

I will never cease to miss

Her and must learn how best

To live with the longing.

So I will cry unashamedly

When the moment strikes

Home and I will talk about

Her to anyone who will Listen.

She would love

This backyard, love sitting

Watching the birds and

Feeling the sun's warmth.

Gettin' Creative

Above are three examples of the creativity that has been happening in my world lately. I have been using this as a way to stay motivated to study. I can only work on fun stuffs after a certain amount of book work is done. It's working pretty well so far, and if you look to the right of my blog you will see there are things in our Etsy shop again!!

I still have some papers to write and tests to take, but starting next Thursday I have four days in a row of absolutely no school. And I'm working hard between now and then to make sure I don't have any homework I have to do either. A real break. Imagine that!

Less than a month now until I'm done with the undergrad side of things. No word yet from MSU or UNT, so keep your fingers crossed!

A Rough Draft

Wrote this on Friday. Friday started out as an awesome day, the weather was great (I don't know what happened, but most of this original post is gone. I still have the poem though, so I will keep working on it, and perhaps post a better draft next week!)

I have a wild hair-

Correction, I have a million wild hairs

Each one of them crawling

In its own direction

It is Spring

Yes, Spring with a capitol S

My yard is a wash of yellow and green

The birds sound happy again

And there is no recession

Of beauty and growth

No recession of love

Of peace and the prosperity

Of friendships and days full

Of laughter and wonder

This is a day when the wind

Is finally warm

Every wild hair on my head

Reaches out to catch that

Wind and let it take them

Where it will. They will me

With the force of their

Numbers to listen to the

Fleetingness of not knowing

Where it started or where it

Ends, but of continuing

On and on, an eternity of

Knowing that truth cannot

Be held in any one person's

Hand, and that athe same

Time it can only be held in

tEach person's self.

Hold on Tight

Yesterday I made a calendar to hang on the garage door in the kitchen. It is eight weeks long, beginning tomorrow and going through the month of May. Jason asked me to write out all the things I have going on so he knows what to expect, and I think so he can help me to stay focused. I am struggling to focus.

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the garden wants me to work in it, there is a room full of projects just waiting for me to come and begin or finish them. These are the things I want to fill my time doing.

Not writing papers. Not reading for school. Not preparing for exit exams.

But this week I will give two presentations, turn in two papers, and take two exit exams.

I should be worried about the general exam, but I don't have time. I will take it and do as well as I do. The music exam is the one I want to ace, which means brushing up on my ear training, among other things.

On top of all of this, I have 5, count them, no, 6 choir rehearsals in the next two weeks, and will attend approx. 7 recitals.

So, you can see why he wanted a calendar.

I expect to hear back from the two remaining schools in the next couple weeks. I received letters from WashU, Virginia, and North Carolina, all along the lines of thank you but we can't accept everyone who applies... I'm not surprised. A little disappointed, but two of those are VERY hard to get into. So, we wait. Limbo is not something I do well, but I have to wonder if anyone does it very well.

That is about all I have right now. It is time to get back to it. I do enjoy what I'm doing. I like the papers I get to write, and I am blessed to have good professors who care about their students. In some ways I will miss being an undergrad, and if we move, I will definitely miss this school.