Sestina and Me

I don't know how many of you know what a sestina is. I think to save time I will provide a link here and you can look it up for more about it because I don't know how well I would do at explaining it this morning.
I learned about them as a teenager and found the form fun and fascinating. I have never mastered the genius of writing one that made obvious sense, or told an understandable story, as some poets have, and can accept that I very likely never will. But everyone needs a goal, right? Today I am posting one that I wrote eons ago. I will not explain what it means because I like the reader to take ownership and get what they can out of poetry.

Sestina Op.2 No.5

Everything I ever wanted I found in you

Remind me what do I want?

Here prostrate in the light of candles

I have no soul

I have not the strength to search

The depths of truth

Will you fill me find my truth

That I might in the grace that is you?

Or is it solely my job, this search?

I do too much thinking and want

Only to know the life of a soul

As I ritualistically lay in front of candles

Before now as I was lighting the candles

I was thinking of the phrase burning truth

What would it be? How would it take my soul

Or is that a part of the magic of you?

My questions are innumerable and not what I want

Not the things themselves, just the tired search

Oh, I don’t want to get up, I don’t want to search

To do more than languish in the light of candles

I don’t know what I need, do you know what I want?

Can you? All knowing why not show me truth

Just throw me a bucket of you

I’ll lie here while it falls, finding my soul

Are the core and the soul

The same? I search

But can you

Who made the light of candles

Who personifies truth

Can you give me want I want?

I know I know it doesn’t matter what I want

 I need to find my soul

Can’t I know the truth

Must I ever search

Here with only me and candles

 For I cannot find you

Come I say to you but not to my soul

Rituals and candles questions and wants

But fatal searches and still can’t find truth

So, why am I posting this? I used to write one poem every month. I want to do that again, and I want to write sestinas. At least for a while. It's like having a puzzle to solve, or a mystery to crack, and who doesn't like doing that? Sure, I could just keep watching British mystery shows, but really, wouldn't this be at least marginally more productive? And guess what?

I'm going to share them with you.