Another June Passing

This past month marked the first full year after Grammy's death. It also marked 20 years after Grandpa's death.

Unexpectedly though, this past June someone I thought so highly of, who I have spent many happy hours with, has died. Debbie Blanchard was one of the strongest women I've met. She was so full of life and light. Her joy and laughter were fierce and contagious. I find it a bit ironic that one of the things she was so adamant about, self-respect, was ultimately the reason for our so infrequent contact the last five years. Once I started to take back my self-respect and power, I realized I had to put some distance between myself and the person that brought Debbie and I together. I am sorry for that. I have wished many times that I had tried harder to keep the connection with Debbie current. I wish so even more now.

Debbie was an avid photographer. Her photos have been published and she was active in local photographers groups. She did everything with such gusto! I used to be on her and Jim's team in the bowling league. What fun that was! I will also never forget all the times we'd sit at the table and drink wine and eat cheeses and such and talk, just talk and talk. And of course laugh ourselves silly. Or the time she called seemingly out of the blue to see if I wanted to go with her and Jim on a Missouri wine tour. We just drove around in the country stopping at three or four different wineries and sampling their wines.

There are so many things about her to remember and love. Her jungle of house plants! But also I remember how much Jim adored her! My heart breaks for him. I hope fervently, and feel pretty sure having met many of their friends, that he will have friends there for him at every turn. She has left behind many many grieving hearts. How could we not grieve the loss of such a force of nature? But knowing Deb, she also wouldn't want us to sit around driveling. She would be glad to know that she has left us with so many things to celebrate about her life. She never hesitated to share her loves and passions with those around her, I intend to do the same. This life should be enjoyed to the fullest possible, and that joy should be shared.

Thank you Debbie, for being the strong, independent, and hilarious woman that I knew, you are missed and shall be for years and years to come.

It was GREAT!

On the second to the last day of our vacation, Jason's parents took us to the ball game. :) I have become quite the Cardinals fan since my first Springfield Card's game two years ago. We had a good time, and that game was the first win after a 7 loss streak! I think we gave them luck, Linda made me a Cardinal's bracelet which I wore to the game, as well as the following day when we watched the game while enjoying a cook out at their house, and they won again. :) On 64 as we were headed to VA we saw signs for a Santa Claus, IN. I was teasing Jason that we were going to have to stop and have the vacation there. I was thrilled when he suggested that we really do stop there on our way back through to IL! It was fun for the novelty of it. We went to the Christmas store and stopped and took this photo. Then we went on to a flea market in the town on the other side of the exit! Our vacation was all about family and flea markets. Two of our favorite things! I am so glad we went. It was hard to come home. It was hard to drive away from my sister. But here we are back in the swing of things. I am doing my best to stay busy and accomplish good things while not "working". I will post more about that later, but I don't want to jump the gun. :)

Vacation, Oh, you are lovely!

I love these kids. I didn't take enough pictures of them. Not nearly enough. Certainly not enough to last me another year, which is how long it has been since I'd last seen them. If I were to make one complaint about my sister it would be that there are not enough pictures of her genius children. But now that I've spent a week with them and it's fresh in my mind I can appreciate the sheer lack of time for playing photographer! They are so full of life and so smart! And into just about everything. I love them so much. I wish I could see them everyday, or at least once a week. The more time I spend with them and the more I get to know them the more I want to know them, and the more time I want to spend with them.

Even though she doesn't always see it, my sister is doing a great job, I am bursting with pride for her!!! It was so hard to leave Monday morning. Jason had to drive because he could tell I was going to cry. He was right, I still tear up thinking about it. One year is just too too long to go without seeing them. I was glad that we were there for Doug's homecoming, it had been more than a year since I got to see him! The only person we were lacking was dad.

I was mistaken in my previous post about when dad is having tests done. It will be this Friday. I know he will be glad when mom is back home from Virginia and they can enjoy her retirement!

Today was our first full day in Illinois. We are staying with Jason's family for a few days before getting home. This whole trip has been so relaxing and a joy. Tomorrow we get to go to the botanical gardens!!! I can't wait!

Trip

I am having a great time in VA. It is so good to spend time with my sister!! I miss her so much and someday we will live closer, we will. I am so impressed by her homemakery and mothering, I know in a way I shouldn't be, we were raised well, but still, she has three super energy noise makers running around all the time and yet her house is clean and they are clean, and despite all the excess -- or so it seems to me -- energy very well behaved and just plan good kids. I know I'm biased, get over it.

Driving through West Virginia was incredible, I have decided that is where I want to live. Hands down the best place I have ever seen, including pictures and movies of places I haven't been....well, there is Ireland....

Anyway, driving with my mom and husband was fun. We listened to music and stopped at all the visitors centers for free maps, and generally had a great time.

I got two bits of disturbing news last night. Garrison, the older of the boys I babysat, fell off his bike and broke his femur. He is in surgery this morning. I know this sort of thing happens all the time, and that Meredith and John are very capable and they have plenty of friends and family there, but I wish I could be there none the less.

Then got an email from my dad that he's been having chest pain and is having tests done today for it. Gah!! It's been strange to be on a trip like this without dad, and I know he misses us. I wish I could be in two places at once. What am I writing, I wish I could be in three or four places at once.

All in all though, this has been a lovely trip and we are not done yet!

Yesterday

I spent yesterday thinking about Grammy. It had been a year since she died. I thought about that day one year ago and about all the days that followed... I thought about all the times with her as a child and as a teenager living with her... I thought about all the things she always encouraged me to be... I thought about blogging about her. Wrote another poem, edited ones I had already writ. Read poems by my favorite poet, and even played the piano. At the end of the day though, I talked to my husband. I hope I never loose sight of what a gift that is, what a gift he is.

Now, I am going to garden and watch the birds and spend the day getting ready for our two week trip east. In three short days I will be hugging my sister!!!

5 1/2 Years of Wonder

Today was my last day to babysit for the Taylors as their regular five day a week babysitter. This is so much harder than graduating college. For the past few weeks I have found myself reminiscing about the boys as babies, and toddlers, the pre-talking days, pre-walking days, trying to get G to do tummy time everyday, his love of the mirror, doing everything I could to keep T awake during the day in those first few weeks of his life...

I was glad to have finals to focus on. But the last two weeks I think I've just been blocking it out. Now, here I am, home from the last day. Five and a half years that have changed my life for the better in so many ways. It was Meredith's encouragement that I consider going back to college that got me from thinking about it to taking those first steps. When Meredith first emailed me to ask if I would be willing to babysit for her I had no idea that would be the beginning of such a true and deep friendship.

I am sure in the coming weeks I will write more about this. I know that it is for the best that I take the summer to possibly obtain some piano students and rest before beginning grad school. I don't regret this decision, not entirely. I guess today I regret it, I can't imagine my life without such frequent regular contact and interaction with the Taylor family. And now I must go and cry over dinner. Good tears, only good tears.

Graduamated

Above is a picture of the hammock my husband made. Not only did he make the frame, he MADE the hammock. I had mentioned that I wanted one for my birthday, but he decided I shouldn't have to wait that long, and by then there wouldn't be as much hammock time left. Now I have a whole summer of hammock time!! This was a complete surprise to me, he had been working on something, but I didn't expect this! He probably doesn't know it, but he's continuing a tradition of surprising me with the gift of a hammock which my papa started back when I had my first big garden. :)

So, the grades have not yet been tallied, and the diploma is not yet in the mail, but I am in fact done with my undergraduate work! I am enrolled in the MSU master of music program majoring in theory, slated to begin in the fall. I never heard back from North Texas about my application there, and we had a lot of things to plan one way or the other... so we are going to stay at least another year.

It has been a strange feeling to look back and see all that has changed since I started. I am blown away by the way life works sometimes.

So many people in my life have been there for me over the years, encouraging me and telling me I can do this, even though I'm an "older" student, and haven't cared about getting a degree in my life. I am so grateful to have such supportive a loving people in my life!