January's Sestina

I wrote this while on break at work today. I've been thinking a lot about my favorite place lately. I love my husband, profoundly and into my bones. This poem is still quite rough, I might try writing February's poem earlier in the month and have some time to refine it before posting.... we shall see, any who, here it is.

I am profoundly content

When resting in his arms

Death and destruction

Are kept at a distance

While his strength

Holds my heart

Fragments of my heart

Begin to content

Themselves  strengthened

While held by his arms

His own pain distant

I pray for no destruction

Yet I know I may need destruction

For the depths of my heart

To stop keeping him distant

And allow for contentment

To fill me to my arms

And imbue me with strength

Seeping through my veins strength

Grown from the roots of destruction

Flowing in me through my arms

My legs my hands my heart

Yet with this I am not content

Not while he is distant

Looking toward the distant

Future I pray for strength

For the chance to still be content

Hoping to survive destruction

Massaging the depths of my heart

His love flows straight through his arms

Timeless in his arms

I work to ever lessen the distance

And keep my feet in my heart

So I can draw strength

Still from the past destruction

And what I learned about contentment

Our arms joined in strength

Contentment and heart

Despite any amount of distance or destruction

Sestina and Me

I don't know how many of you know what a sestina is. I think to save time I will provide a link here and you can look it up for more about it because I don't know how well I would do at explaining it this morning.
I learned about them as a teenager and found the form fun and fascinating. I have never mastered the genius of writing one that made obvious sense, or told an understandable story, as some poets have, and can accept that I very likely never will. But everyone needs a goal, right? Today I am posting one that I wrote eons ago. I will not explain what it means because I like the reader to take ownership and get what they can out of poetry.

Sestina Op.2 No.5

Everything I ever wanted I found in you

Remind me what do I want?

Here prostrate in the light of candles

I have no soul

I have not the strength to search

The depths of truth

Will you fill me find my truth

That I might in the grace that is you?

Or is it solely my job, this search?

I do too much thinking and want

Only to know the life of a soul

As I ritualistically lay in front of candles

Before now as I was lighting the candles

I was thinking of the phrase burning truth

What would it be? How would it take my soul

Or is that a part of the magic of you?

My questions are innumerable and not what I want

Not the things themselves, just the tired search

Oh, I don’t want to get up, I don’t want to search

To do more than languish in the light of candles

I don’t know what I need, do you know what I want?

Can you? All knowing why not show me truth

Just throw me a bucket of you

I’ll lie here while it falls, finding my soul

Are the core and the soul

The same? I search

But can you

Who made the light of candles

Who personifies truth

Can you give me want I want?

I know I know it doesn’t matter what I want

 I need to find my soul

Can’t I know the truth

Must I ever search

Here with only me and candles

 For I cannot find you

Come I say to you but not to my soul

Rituals and candles questions and wants

But fatal searches and still can’t find truth

So, why am I posting this? I used to write one poem every month. I want to do that again, and I want to write sestinas. At least for a while. It's like having a puzzle to solve, or a mystery to crack, and who doesn't like doing that? Sure, I could just keep watching British mystery shows, but really, wouldn't this be at least marginally more productive? And guess what?

I'm going to share them with you. 

School Book

I made a book last spring with the express purpose of giving me a place to do some art journaling about my undergrad experience.

 

So, I am finished with it finally. I thought I would share.

Dragonflies for Christmas

We had a lovely quiet Christmas. We both worked on Christmas Eve, then he worked on Christmas day. I had a quiet time, catching up on some projects and such. All in all a very nice time. The weather isn't very Christmasy, but I am not going to complain about it!! 

 Jason designed and built this cabinet for me for Christmas! I was so surprised and happy!

We got it hung up and I filled it with things which are precious to me.

I also went for a jog on Christmas. First real attempt at that, and it went well. I figure it was a year a go when my cousin and Aunt ran their first 5k, I should really get started!

4.0

Yes, I earned straight A's for the first time in my MSU college career in my first semester of grad school. It was a crazy four months, what with the new job and learning how best to handle the fact that I wasn't in class very much, but had to study twice as much, yet it worked out.
I know for a lot of people straight A's are just about as common as dandelions, but I was never able to commit myself to all those stinking gen ed classes! I didn't care what my grades were in the gen eds as long as I passed them. I strangely, perhaps stupidly, believed that what would count when trying to get into a grad program were my degree specific grades. I think I was wrong. But there are advantages to staying in Springfield and at MSU for a couple more years, so I am trying to make it count as much as I can.
Oddly enough I thought I would have time to blog at least once a week.
Obviously that didn't happen.
I'm not going to foolishly commit to any such thing either.
However, I do think that I could use this blog to help me reach my next important goal.
Last summer I did pretty good about going for a walk everyday. I was exercising a little almost everyday. Since school started I have done nothing. Nadda. Zip. I know in order to get healthy I need to exercise and eat right. Surprisingly enough, I have got the eating part down. I made myself about a months worth of meals, all healthy and full of veggies, and froze them. I have no excuses not to have an actual meal everyday, two even. :) I have noticed a difference. Now I need to up the ante and get moving.
I think once a week would be doable, but I'm not promising to blog that often once school starts. I will keep track of my daily activity, or at times lack of it, on a chart and then when I remember post it in my blog.
Fingers crossed, I hope this helps!
And YAY!!! for a good semester!

Bedded Down for the Winter

 Early last week I took advantage of a couple of warm days coinciding with a couple of days off and got the yard/gardens tucked in for the season.

 As you can see it was kind of a mess in the back 40, and the clean-up was much needed!

 This is the flower bed. The Castor Bean took over! I Loved this plant and will probably grow one every year for as long as I can.

 After I got the herb garden spruced up I had to take some photos of the little gnome.

 This is the flower bed ready for winter..... I hope. :)

 See, isn't that better? All the grass is trimmed and the dirt is turned, and the birds have some food.

And when there is a spot or two of warmth outside we can have a sit down and enjoy it. :)
This is the month of Thanksgiving. Many of my friends on Facebook are posting daily the things they are grateful for. I did something like that last year, but I am entirely too busy to commit to posting anything on a daily basis right now. I will say though that I am very grateful for the good old out doors, and for my parents encouragement of my love of gardening. Papa was always happy to let me help with gardening and encouraged me along in my first flower and herb bed adventures, and mom had such a good eye for beauty and what flowers and plants looked nice together. There are a lot of reasons I am thankful for my parents, but given the theme of this post I think it's good to point out this one.
And while I'm at it, I am exceedingly grateful to my husband for building garden beds for us/me. He is always so happy to help me with anything, even building me my very own garden tool box! I count myself as one of the luckiest, most blessed girls ever!

Let me tell you a Story

 It begins (well, this is not REALLY where it begins. It REALLY begins MONTHS ago ) on a beautiful sunny autumn day...

 Two happy love birds set forth into the unknown with a tuck and trailer loaded with their hard work and some camping gear...

 When they finally arrive at their destination and set up camp a fire is started and dinner happens, followed by delicious smores made from HUGE marshmallows, then a quick clean-up and to bed.... I would like to be able to show you a picture of the sky at night, it was AMAZING! Then they woke super early and crept to the showers of warmth to begin the longest day ever...

 Now, just because it was the longest day ever doesn't mean it was a bad day. It started out wonderful. We met Linda for breakfast and then headed to down-town Poplar Bluff to set up our shops. The balloons were provided and the day was beautiful. We met a lot of interesting people, and had a few sales, and learned a LOT about vending at an event.

 At one point I thought I could eat a baseball sized marshmallow in one bite....not so much! Which is a good analogy for the end of the day. See, we had to pack up everything, which wasn't so bad, then drive for four hours in the dark.....after being awake since 5am.... that WAS hard. THEN we got to unload everything! All told that day was really only about 22 hours long, but geesh! I don't think we'll do it quite that way again. Next time we will camp again. (I could camp every night)

This is what my life looks like now. And will do so for a few months....or more. I happen to like this view though, so it is good.
Life is good, and that is a perfect end to the story.