Unbelievedly it is Tuesday and I have posted what I've eaten every day for a week, or will have when I've finished this evening. I didn't think I'd do it. But it has helped me to think about what I'm eating and that I'll need to try and remember it. So, I'll do one more week. Besides, I lost 3lbs in this week of blogging, that's a trend I'd like to keep up and expand. Exercising will or should do that.

Breakfast was oatmeal with honey and cinnamon and yogurt. Lunch was chicken salad on whole wheat pita and for dinner I had rice and veggies with paneer...DEEElishious!

Below are pictures of our seedlings....they are already sprouting and some are in need of thinning!

I had yogurt for breakfast and after class got myself a late--how do I get the ' above the e, anyone? Came home for lunch and had chicken salad on a whole wheat pita and drank some water. I had about an ounce of super dark chocolate then had two bowls of oatmeal with blueberries and flax for dinner. An hour later I was still hungry so I had some of the other kind of chicken salad. I'm now drinking a glass of red wine and REALLY want to get in bed. I was up last night working on a presentation I gave in a class today and then just couldn't sleep. So I've been running on 4ish hours all day.

A note about the Dickens project. I'm taking a break. My buddy and I got three books in and I realized to pull decent grades this semester I really need to be studying stuff for school. I was having fun, too much maybe, looking up random works and places and names from the stories, reading reviews and commentary...yes, I'm a geek, but I like it. :) SO when school is out for this semester I will have a Dickens laden summer, at least I hope to! I'm fortunate to have an understanding friend taking this literary journey with me. :)

I'm currently enjoying a glass of red wine, I do mean enjoying, mmmmm! OK, Today. This is tricky. I should start writing this down as I go. I don't remember if I had breakfast or not. I did have a 44 oz Dr. Pepper this afternoon and I made pita wraps with hummus, carrots, green onions and white cheddar, I had two of those. Then I made two different kinds of chicken salad to have on hand throughout the week and had about two Tbls of each of those. I did not exercise. I didn't realize how bad I am about that. I'm beginning to think I need to start walking in the morning. This will likely mean less sleep for a while, but eventually I'd get used to getting up and doing it and fall asleep sooner, at least that's the theory. I'll let you know if I start doing that.

I've been watching the birds lately. Especially the robins. I just love them. Yesterday before we left for our date Jason and I stood and watched the birds in our back yard. There were two turtledoves, a female cardinal, a finch-not sure what kind-, a robin, and a starling. It had just rained real good and they were getting worms and checking out our compost pile. I'd love to learn how to draw birds. But who has time?

Below are some of the pages I've done recently. Sorry they're on their sides....

March 27, 2009

This morning, yogurt. Then I knew we were doing ReRico for dinner for out anniversary, so I had an cracker for lunch. Dinner was delicious!! Lots of broccoli and several different kinds of meat, a nice chowder, some seafood cheese dip thing....it was good. I was very full when we left, but not uncomfortable. After watching Alice in Wonderland in 3D, we had Andy's....again. This is a bad week to fess up about what I eat!

Good night all.

March 26, 2009

Breakfast....was a long time ago....I didn't have anything for breakfast. Lunch...some samples at SAMS, a breaded chicken thing and a sausage thing, both pretty tasty, but I know, not really a meal. I also had a sugary tasting white tea drink. Then for dinner low-fat red wine and cream sauce with chicken breast, mushrooms and whole wheat pasta. And most of a glass of wine. I did very little exercise.

Was a mostly good day. Especially after my mom got here. :) We stayed up late laughing and talking...and now I REALLY need to get to sleep!

March 25, 2009

Today I had oatmeal with honey and cinnamon for breakfast. Hummus and crackers for lunch. I did 20min of bellydance and 15 min of yoga. Then for dinner I had barbeque chicken breast with veggies and grilled cheese. I think at one point I had a half ounce piece of dark chocolate.

Not much else to say today. Good night.

FAT

I haven't posted anything in a while. I've been sick, some sort of cold bug that's going around. I've also been so frustrated. About a month ago I went to the Dr. for the first time in years to talk about potential reasons for my inability to loose weight. A month before that Jason and I went on a low calorie diet. The goal was not to exceed 1500 calories a day. We kept little journals of what we ate and how many calories and weighed in weekly. I promised him that if I didn't loose any weight at all I'd go see a doc. Well, I averaged between 900 and 1300 calories a day and lost not a pound. The Dr. had a thyroid panel, cholesterol panel, and my blood sugar tested. My thyroid was high, which means that it's slow, and my cholesterol was bad. Total was 203, and the good was low while the bad was high. My blood sugar was fine. So she put me on something for the thyroid and told me to exercise. At first we thought HORAY!! a reason, and a solution! I lost some weight in that first week, then gained some and am a month later at the same place I was when I started. Being sick for the last two weeks I have not exercised, but still, that's frustrating. Yesterday they took blood and did the thyroid again and also something called hemogloben something or other. I expressed concern that I might be diabetic, but the Dr. doesn't seem to think that's the case and since that test came back normal I guess she's right. Also, the thyroid is normal, so I can keep taking that medicine. YAY. (please hear the sarcasm)

Why am I writing about this? Because this is my blog and I can write about whatever I want, and, because I'm tired of being ashamed of my weight. I know that I got fat by eating too much of the wrong stuff, and that lately my activity level has been nil. But dammit, I want to live a long and healthy life! This is me. This is who I am. I'm fat. I'm not proud of that, but I'm not going to apologize for it. And I'm certainly not going to hide from it. No maim.

What now? Well, for starters I'm going to be brave and be honest. I want to get on here and at least tell what I ate and how much I exercised before bed everyday. But I know me. I'll give up if I think it's forever, or even for more that a short time. So for now the goal is just this week. Between now and next Tuesday I will get on here and update what I ate and if I exercised and if so how much. And on Tuesday I'll decide if I should do it another week.

Today, I had...wow, I was bad today, I don't want to type this...oh well, truth can hurt. Two sausage mcmuffins and a non-fat-late for breakfast, a crunchwrap for lunch, and cashew chicken for dinner. Way more than 1500 calories. I feel terrible, not just in the guilty way, but also physically. I slept about 5 hours last night and have walked about 20 min today. I have not drunk much water and I had a soda with lunch. I just had some yogurt = 70 cal. and some OJ = I don't know how many cals. Hopefully I will do better tomorrow.

I don't know what the answer is, but I don't think being frustrated and angry is going to get me anywhere. Hopefully I can assuage some of that here, and if you don't like it, you don't have to read about it. :)