I'm currently enjoying a glass of red wine, I do mean enjoying, mmmmm! OK, Today. This is tricky. I should start writing this down as I go. I don't remember if I had breakfast or not. I did have a 44 oz Dr. Pepper this afternoon and I made pita wraps with hummus, carrots, green onions and white cheddar, I had two of those. Then I made two different kinds of chicken salad to have on hand throughout the week and had about two Tbls of each of those. I did not exercise. I didn't realize how bad I am about that. I'm beginning to think I need to start walking in the morning. This will likely mean less sleep for a while, but eventually I'd get used to getting up and doing it and fall asleep sooner, at least that's the theory. I'll let you know if I start doing that.

I've been watching the birds lately. Especially the robins. I just love them. Yesterday before we left for our date Jason and I stood and watched the birds in our back yard. There were two turtledoves, a female cardinal, a finch-not sure what kind-, a robin, and a starling. It had just rained real good and they were getting worms and checking out our compost pile. I'd love to learn how to draw birds. But who has time?

Below are some of the pages I've done recently. Sorry they're on their sides....

March 27, 2009

This morning, yogurt. Then I knew we were doing ReRico for dinner for out anniversary, so I had an cracker for lunch. Dinner was delicious!! Lots of broccoli and several different kinds of meat, a nice chowder, some seafood cheese dip thing....it was good. I was very full when we left, but not uncomfortable. After watching Alice in Wonderland in 3D, we had Andy's....again. This is a bad week to fess up about what I eat!

Good night all.

March 26, 2009

Breakfast....was a long time ago....I didn't have anything for breakfast. Lunch...some samples at SAMS, a breaded chicken thing and a sausage thing, both pretty tasty, but I know, not really a meal. I also had a sugary tasting white tea drink. Then for dinner low-fat red wine and cream sauce with chicken breast, mushrooms and whole wheat pasta. And most of a glass of wine. I did very little exercise.

Was a mostly good day. Especially after my mom got here. :) We stayed up late laughing and talking...and now I REALLY need to get to sleep!

March 25, 2009

Today I had oatmeal with honey and cinnamon for breakfast. Hummus and crackers for lunch. I did 20min of bellydance and 15 min of yoga. Then for dinner I had barbeque chicken breast with veggies and grilled cheese. I think at one point I had a half ounce piece of dark chocolate.

Not much else to say today. Good night.

FAT

I haven't posted anything in a while. I've been sick, some sort of cold bug that's going around. I've also been so frustrated. About a month ago I went to the Dr. for the first time in years to talk about potential reasons for my inability to loose weight. A month before that Jason and I went on a low calorie diet. The goal was not to exceed 1500 calories a day. We kept little journals of what we ate and how many calories and weighed in weekly. I promised him that if I didn't loose any weight at all I'd go see a doc. Well, I averaged between 900 and 1300 calories a day and lost not a pound. The Dr. had a thyroid panel, cholesterol panel, and my blood sugar tested. My thyroid was high, which means that it's slow, and my cholesterol was bad. Total was 203, and the good was low while the bad was high. My blood sugar was fine. So she put me on something for the thyroid and told me to exercise. At first we thought HORAY!! a reason, and a solution! I lost some weight in that first week, then gained some and am a month later at the same place I was when I started. Being sick for the last two weeks I have not exercised, but still, that's frustrating. Yesterday they took blood and did the thyroid again and also something called hemogloben something or other. I expressed concern that I might be diabetic, but the Dr. doesn't seem to think that's the case and since that test came back normal I guess she's right. Also, the thyroid is normal, so I can keep taking that medicine. YAY. (please hear the sarcasm)

Why am I writing about this? Because this is my blog and I can write about whatever I want, and, because I'm tired of being ashamed of my weight. I know that I got fat by eating too much of the wrong stuff, and that lately my activity level has been nil. But dammit, I want to live a long and healthy life! This is me. This is who I am. I'm fat. I'm not proud of that, but I'm not going to apologize for it. And I'm certainly not going to hide from it. No maim.

What now? Well, for starters I'm going to be brave and be honest. I want to get on here and at least tell what I ate and how much I exercised before bed everyday. But I know me. I'll give up if I think it's forever, or even for more that a short time. So for now the goal is just this week. Between now and next Tuesday I will get on here and update what I ate and if I exercised and if so how much. And on Tuesday I'll decide if I should do it another week.

Today, I had...wow, I was bad today, I don't want to type this...oh well, truth can hurt. Two sausage mcmuffins and a non-fat-late for breakfast, a crunchwrap for lunch, and cashew chicken for dinner. Way more than 1500 calories. I feel terrible, not just in the guilty way, but also physically. I slept about 5 hours last night and have walked about 20 min today. I have not drunk much water and I had a soda with lunch. I just had some yogurt = 70 cal. and some OJ = I don't know how many cals. Hopefully I will do better tomorrow.

I don't know what the answer is, but I don't think being frustrated and angry is going to get me anywhere. Hopefully I can assuage some of that here, and if you don't like it, you don't have to read about it. :)

Last Day

It is the last day of February. I can't believe how fast this month has been. I've taken a test in each of my classes, played at studio class twice, been to the Dr. twice, had blood work done, and started a new medicine. That's a lot I guess, for the shortest month of the year. Spring break starts next week, and given that I have a paper to write I plan to get it done then and only have tweeking and proofing to do after that.

I felt a need to update this thing without really having anything I wanted to write. So I'll leave it there, keep it short and move on with the day.

More Pages

Working on this art journal has been fun. I wish I did it everyday. More than once a week at least. I've been thinking it might be neat to incorporate my thought about Dickens and his characters as I go. Reading Oliver now and it is hard sometimes because the situations described are so sad and often the people I read about remind me of people I knew through my dad's ministry. The human state. But the contrasts he gives are so poignant and beautiful it makes the whole story more bearable.

Last night I went with some friends to a local belly dance hafla. It was a blast! I love seeing women dance and embrace their will and beauty through dance. More on that later. Below is a photo of the beginnings of a project long over due. Most of that stuff is what I coved the walls of the various rooms I occupied in my early adult years.